"How deep is your love?"
"I don’t know. How deep is the ocean?"
I’m officially in college! Four months ago, I am unsure of the path I’m going to take and still anxious about leaving my comfort zone. But now, here I am, in flesh and blood, an iskolar ng bayan. The thought of being a kolehiyala still hasn’t sink in neither the fact that I am studying here in Elbi.
Few days before leaving, I’ve come to experience this “itch” to go. A day after actually leaving, I’d wanted to go back sooner as I could. I guess that’s why I have to regard mondays as ‘leaving the house’ and fridays as ‘coming home’, but there’d be times when I cannot come home because of examinations and field trips.
My memories of campus tour were quite hazy. I barely remember that day but the immense tiredness I have felt and how my four month gained skin tone lost to a day of touring the campus served as a remembering mark.
Our tour guides were really approachable and nice. It’s nice we were enlightened about our degree program. We’ve played this certain game as well which is called the name game, which in you have to memorize all the names of people before you and then introduce yourself afterwards.
Instant fame: I’ve mistaken Bryan for someone therefore losing to the game. I, however, introduced myself with a suffix of “OH MY GOD” therefore all of them call me by the name of ‘Amica-Ohmygod’. Name’s stuck. Some of my blocmates are still calling me by that name, by the way.
Dorm’s been pretty great too. It was my shelter when I cry out every night calling for my grandma because she’s not there beside me anymore. I have been having hate tweets regarding about Globe on my first week, by the way. #PaasaKaGlobe
First day was all about orientations. We had Sol Aragones, an alumna of the university, as our guest speaker that day. Her speech is actually inspiring, and she even came down and did some things that made it looked she was on the television, reporting.
Matapang because forever an aspiring Merida.
Come on out and find me. (Uhm yes, I was THE purple hat.)
Had to do some outfit change afterwards for freshman night. I really had fun because we were forced to stand from our seats from the games to the time when Wyre had this flashmob of Scream.
Plot twist: We joined the flashmob.
Most of my blocmates had to leave because they have 7 am classes so I tagged along with Bloc G, which I have met and talked to online even before classes have started. (It was a four month vacation, duh.)
Thank you Bloc G for adopting me.
Freshmen night also stands for Freedom because the bands allowed us to have selfies with them whilst they’re performing. Some were jamming with them. Some were moving their skateboards in front of them. It may totally looked like a riot but hell, who cares?
I also had the chance to witness a protest rally in the first week! Ha, I’ve already memorized their slogan chant: Iskolar ng bayan, lumalaban! UP-LB! Tunay na palaban, makabayan!
Spongecola came to uni and had their blast concert. I DID NOT COME BECAUSE:
a.) not going to be ashamed but I had this massive tagos and I am wearing white shorts,
b.) long story short, I had to go to dorm to change and fix myself therefore will consume a quite long time
c.) by the time I am done, it’s already 7 pm and I have no companion to go there
Yes? Uh-huh. I let my best chance on getting to hear Yael sing live, slipped. Luck is not on my side that week, eh?
One of the highlights in studying here is that I am blocmates with the great and cute Sammy. Every day is spent laughing with her and the rest of my blocmates. God has truly blessed me with this amazing set of people.
But of course, the highlight most of all is being able to realize to give back and to offer yourself with no doubts.
Serve the people!
I’ve left home a couple of times already. I am not new about the fact that I would feel emptiness as I walk down across the streets, and I would feel longing tugging between my blanket at the middle of the night.
The first time I left home, I was sent to Pangasinan because my parents couldn’t find someone to watch me over because they have to work and they are both in night shift. Just few weeks after I turned four. I stayed there for two months and I thought it won’t happen again.
I was wrong. It did. Boy, it did happen again. The struggle of finding a house helper is infuriating. I’ve been with babysitters who’d hurt me at their pleasure. It’s an A++ for a childhood, isn’t it?
One of the main reasons why I asked for a sibling is so they could not make me leave. They really, really, really have to find someone and I won’t have to leave home again.
Today, I’m leaving home again. Or maybe I’ve left already by the time you are reading this. It’s probably because of the always fleeing and fleeting series of my life that I’ve always been homesick my entire existence.
Always searching for home. Searching it on people if they have roofs in their arms, if they have open windows on their eyes. Until that whole chase seemed to be the closest to home. It became home.
Tomorrow is the start of seeking for the great perhaps, or maybe we are all seeking for it the entirety of our lives.
There are goodbyes to be said.
I will never say mine.